Zack Danger’s Blog

I fought the desire to download Hipstamatic to my phone for a while.

Tonight I succumbed and here is what I’ve learned…

For anyone who doesn’t know, this app was designed to document your ironic Pabst drinking at the local dive bar. The pictures it creates mimic the results you would find from cheap cameras of yesteryear.

The Hipstamatic website describes the app this way:

The Hipstamatic for iPhone is an application that brings back the look, feel, unpredictable beauty, and fun of plastic toy cameras from the past.

I enjoy the results, and I’ve enjoyed seeing my friends upload their pictures. There are even whole Flickr Pools devoted to them.

Well, after I download the app today, I decided to try it out at the fair…

So why have I refused to use the app up until now? Well, when they use the terms “look,” “feel,” and “unpredictable beauty,” what they really mean is ”unfocused,” ”washed out,” and “poorly composed.”

Technically, all the app really does is ruin a perfectly good photograph. And while I may like the result, I feel that I must fight it on principal. The appeal of these photographs has nothing to do with the skill of the taker, but rather the reminiscent qualities of them.

Seriously, here is a picture of a guy sitting on a bench:

As you can see, it didn’t matter if I held the camera steady, and even if I had wanted to center this guy in the picture, the app seems to pick the frame at random. (Hence why there is so much asphalt in that picture.) And regardless of which “lens” and “film” you select in the program, you never know what the exposure will be until after the picture is taken.

The picture I wanted to take, and what I saw in the viewfinder, rarely amounted to what was “developed” by the program.

That picture literally took me no talent to produce.

But yet even though there is nothing redeeming about that picture… it’s still fascinating.

I can’t tell whether I love it or hate it. Although either way I feel we’ll all be rolling our eyes at these pictures in the not too distant future.

In the mean time, here is an artsy picture of my toaster oven:

No time to elaborate and write a clever post…

Mad Max reenactment in the Southern California Desert!

Wasteland Weekend.

Wasteland Weekend is a three-day post-apocalyptic party in the desert.  Friday, October 22nd to Sunday, October 24th 2010.

Join the hundreds of fans coming from all over the the United States (and beyond) to gather in the Southern California desert.  Set up camp at our wasteland compound, surrounded by specially-built sets.  Costumes are required and post-apocalyptic campsites and vehicles are encouraged.  Live for three days in a world pulled straight out of the Mad Max movies, beyond the grip of so-called civilization.

Top DJs from all over will provide the soundtrack, fire dancers and bonfires will light up the night, and modified vehicles will shake the earth with their engines. Don’t miss it!  Tickets on sale now.

This is an ADULTS ONLY event.

Hallmark has released an audio greeting card for recent graduates with a space theme. When the card is opened, the characters (”Hoops” and “YoYo”) ramble on about the recipient’s attributes.

A representative from the company described it this way:

“The card’s theme is the solar system and emphasizes the power of the grad to take over the universe…”

So what’s the problem? Well, the Los Angeles NAACP takes issue with this line at the end:

“And you black holes, you are so ominous. Watch your back.”

Leon Jenkins of the LA NAACP said this about the choice words:

“That was very demeaning to African American women. When it made reference to African American women as whores and at the end, it says ‘watch your back.’”

Mr. Jenkins, while I would never submit that racism has been eradicated, I do have to say one thing. When you hold press conferences, and insight anger from your constituents over such ridiculous assertions, you kind of hurt your cause.

Just sayin’.

KABC Los Angeles has reported the story complete with community outrage and the offending language:

In Germany there is this little thing called the Nurburgring.

Dating back to the 1920s it’s a multi-course loop through and around the village of Nurburg.

Weird part is that one course is actually a public toll road open on the weekends. Anyone with a street legal vehicle, and the money, can take their car out onto this incredible course.

But of course, being situated in a country that loves and respects their motorsports, the Nurburgring hosts many sanctioned races every year.

Now arguably one of the greatest events in all of racing is the endurance race. Forget 500 laps on a hot afternoon… try seeing how many times you can get your team’s drivers and their car to go around the course in 1 day.

Combining the above awesomeness is the 24 Hours of Nurburgring event. The 2010 race was recently chronicled by Tim and Nick Hayne in their awesome film ”24 Hours in 19500 Frames.”

(It’s in High-Def, so make sure to pop it full size and enjoy.)

24 HOURS IN 19500 FRAMES from tim hahne on Vimeo.

You mean to tell me that home is not off limits?!

AWESOME!!!

Thanks for the tip, CNN!

If you’re not familiar with Reggie Watts, you should be.

I’ll let him explain why:

I’ll start off with this loving couple.

Together, on a date, totally engrossed in their own respective iPhone games.

(They didn’t say anything to each other the entire time I was being nosey.)

I know that we need to suspend some belief while playing with this lego set. However I don’t see why the bad guys would need a gigantic engine blower on their space ship.

I couldn’t have created a funnier magazine cover if I tried.

Incase there was any question, Under Armor Coldgear is “for when it’s COLD.”

Bumped into this guy in an Apple store.

And now for the main event; Nightclub Tampons.

I’m calling them this because I can only assume by everything I’m seeing they must be black light sensitive.

I can hear the electronic music now.

Of course I don’t want it to seem like I’m coming down on these things too hard.

I mean, nothing could be as unfortunate as the Target brand motto “up&up” being stamped on a box of the things.

(I’m presuming that isn’t their idea of a tampon the lady is holding on the package… at least for her sake I hope it’s not.)

(Bonus lol for “Super Undercover.”)

My favorite actor, John C. Reilly helps us revisit my favorite historical figure, Nikola Tesla!

::EDIT::

It’s been pulled… I’m now crawling the internet to find the original… silly that it’s not on FunnyOrDie.com

I understand them wanting to protect their copyright. But man have they killed their buzz.

::EDIT::

Think I fixed it.

*What I had when I saw the latest trailer for Tron: Legacy.

In case you missed it, back in 1982 Disney released an awesome movie called Tron.

In a nut shell; Jeff Bridges is a computer programmer (Kevin Flynn) who gets digitized and sucked into a mainframe with an evil program blackmailing people. He has to battle his way out to save the day (and himself).

The graphics for 1982 were epic and, because they were the best at the time, represent directly the computing power the character Flynn finds himself stuck in. In this way, the movie isn’t even dated because it’s essentially a period piece.

Whether their motivation is pure, or they just ran out of original ideas, Disney has chosen to release a new Tron movie. But unlike other rereleases of recent, I think Disney is doing everything right.

Instead of making it a “reboot” they are creating a true sequel.

In this new version, Flynn has been missing for years and his son is sent on a quest to find him. The kid ends up being sucked into a computer as well and finds his father there.

I know that the whole “now it’s the son blah blah blah” idea sounds a little contrived, but I submit it works here.

Primarily because Jeff fucking Bridges is back in Tron: Legacy, and he’s playing his original character 25 years later.

Now that this sequel is clearly set in the future of the original, it allows for the use of modern CGI in the context of modern computing power, and in no way detracts from the original film.

And it gets better: Even though the modern CGI in Tron: Legacy seems incredible… the film makers went ahead and created physical Light Cycles:

Not stopping there, the film makers wanted to do the sound track justice. The original Tron featured analog and digital synths to compliment the computer theme. So the most logical thing was done, and Daft Punk was hired to do the soundtrack for Legacy (with all its 8bit crunch glory). Rumor is they even have a cameo in the film.

(There was a supposed leak of one of the Daft Punk tracks back in January, but their label eventually announced that it was a fake.)

But of course don’t just take my word for how awesome this all is, check out the new trailer for Tron: Legacy…

(Do yourself the favor of putting it in fullscreen hi-res and turning your speakers all the way up.)

Epic.

Oh, and don’t think I forgot the obligatory:

(you’re welcome)

You may have guessed from my recent post that I rather enjoy Curling. (even if it does means “Ass Lick” in Romanian).

It’s funny because whenever I tell someone I like the game, I end up having to tell them three times.

Me: “I really like curling.”

Them: “Are you serious?”

Me: “Yeah! Absolutely!”

Them: “No, really. Are you serious?”

Me: “Yes! I’m serious! I love curling.”

Them: “Okay……?”

I think it’s this skepticism and judgment from others that have kept me a closeted fan for over a decade.

The weird thing is that recently it almost seems like Curling is becoming “cool” and “sexy.”

Even Sports Illustrated has been touting its awesomeness.

I’ve even heard it being referred to as “hip.”

Don’t get me wrong, I’d love for more people to get excited about it… but not if it means I have to dress like this:

Who knows, perhaps this commercial from 1986 has finally started getting people swept up in the fun.

(watch for the serial killer at 0:21)

Why am I bothering to go on about this silly sport?

Could it be because I wanted to show off my new hat?

Maybe a little, but mostly I figured you’d want to watch video of me falling down.

The other day NECN saw the writing on the wall, and decided to send a reporter out to my Curling Club to get a story on the new craze. She was there with her camera operator for the better part of 2.5 hours doing interviews and getting footage of us playing.

Just like any time there is a news crew around, I spent most of my energy trying to stay out of the shot.

Call it nerves, or just bad luck… but the one time I’ve ever fallen down playing, I look up and there is the camera lens right in front of me.

My friends tried to comfort me and say that they “might not show it.”

But I knew just as well as they did, the reporter would be a FOOL not to use it in her piece.

And sure enough, she did.

Now, I have never claimed to be a champion curler, and I’m certainly a novice, but this line was a little low:

“The club is made up of veteran curlers and newcomers who still have a little learning to do…”

Although I guess I did kind of deserve it, and I don’t blame her. If anything I think it’s rather hilarious.

So without further adieu, here I am falling on my ass thanks to NECN.com.

And if anyone wants to know what this means:

“The vice did a great job putting just the right amount of weight on that stone and avoiding the corner guard to draw to the button for shot rock.”

I’m more than willing to explain the ins and outs of the game to you.